totallycorrect-rwby:

Ozpin: You read my mind.

Oscar: You’re in my mind.

moistmailman:

(On a plane)

Ren, on the speaker: Hello everyone, this is your pilot speaking.

Nora, also on the speaker: AND THIS IS YOUR CO-PILOT YELLING!

rwbymemes:

Yang: mom stop your not funny. you never make jokes.

Raven: I made you.

Yang: …I hope you fucking die a slow painful death.

derpyslurpy-da-derp-master:

Jaune: Weiss, you’re losing a lot of blood. It looks like your’re going to need a blood transfusion. What’s your blood type?

Weiss: *coughing* B Positive

Jaune: I’m trying, but you’re losing a lot of blood Weiss.

rwbymemes:

Yang: I wasn’t even that drunk I drove home.

Blake: Yang. Don’t even try denying it.

Yang: ???

Blake: I drove you home while you “drove” with a paper plate

Yang: oh…I thought that was a dream…

Blake: [facepalms]

biggestgaydisaster:

In Atlas

Ruby: Are you okay?

Weiss: Yeah, I’m fine.

Ruby: What does “fine” mean?

Weiss: It means I’m perfectly content but also wouldn’t mind if the sun exploded right now and killed us all.

totallycorrect-rwby:

Pyhrra: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.

Jaune: Wow. They sound stupid.

Pyhrra: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense.

Jaune: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!”

Pyhrra: I guess you’re right. Hey Jaune, I love you.

Jaune: See! Just say that!

Pyhrra: Holy fucking shit.

Jaune: If that flies over their then, sorry Pyhrra, but their too dumb for you.

Pyhrra: Dude.

fried-weiss:

RWBY as things my friends have said

Ruby: next person to say ‘hit or miss’ I can promise you that I won’t miss when I shoot you.

Weiss: *being rejected* how dare you. I’m a literal goddess

Blake: you do NOT want to see my wattpad history. Trust me.

Yang: SO I WAS WANDERING THE HOUSE, NOT WEARING PANTS WHEN UNCLE QROW KNOCKED ON THE DOOR.

Jaune: I’m at this awkward stage in my life where I hate myself so much that my will to live resides in Ren and Nora.

Nora: so yeah, I looked someone directly in the eye and asked them “do I look like the type who can die?”

Pyrrha: I’m so sorry for my friends’ dumbassery and- FUCK YOU JAUNE YES I DO NEED TO APOLOGIZE FOR YOU

Ren: I am sixteen and already raising children… is mom disappointed yet?

Sun: if your life’s a fucking nightmare clap your hands *Neptune claps* - bro we talked about this…

Emerald: have you ever had an actual Belgian waffle you baSIC BITCH?!

Mercury: I have four career options: comedian, therapist, serial killer, and god

Oscar: I just wanna go home, cry and eat ice cream but noooo I have to stop my dumbass friends from committing war crimes